WILLIAM LESSARD
Image by Daniel Uncapher
Facebook - 8/8/17
friend request from smartphone carved in cheddar
favorite Eagles song: "Hotel California"
favorite Eagles song: "Hotel California"
Facebook- 4/21/17
boyfriend totes wants to move to NYC
^like if i should follow
^comment if i should continue dreaming inside this skull glazed
w/rhinestones
*/
@#$@#$@$@#$#@&&&&@#$@#$@#$@$@#$%&%*&*(*
being alive on a Friday is one of the stupidest things you can do
GrubHub wants to deliver
an uncooked box of rice for the price of an entrée
boyfriend is totes about NYC because he thinks NYC people
know how to wear hats
today i read a story about an etiquette class for newly rich Chinese
the Chinese pay $16,000 to learn how to pronounce the names of luxury brands
training also includes
the proper way to match hats with the yawn of your skull
++++==being alive any day of the week is not something i'd recommend if you can't laugh milk
through your nose
boyfriend laughs milk in a solid stream
boyfriend thinks we should be the ones teaching the Chinese—totes add
"nasal lactose effusion" as a premium service
^like if you would spend $16,000 to learn "nasal lactose effusion"
^comment if everything you know, everything you need to know is skull glazed w/rhinestones
boyfriend is leaving for NYC tomorrow
boyfriend has promised that we can totes fly there as pair of turtledoves
^like if i should follow
^comment if i should continue dreaming inside this skull glazed
w/rhinestones
*/
@#$@#$@$@#$#@&&&&@#$@#$@#$@$@#$%&%*&*(*
being alive on a Friday is one of the stupidest things you can do
GrubHub wants to deliver
an uncooked box of rice for the price of an entrée
boyfriend is totes about NYC because he thinks NYC people
know how to wear hats
today i read a story about an etiquette class for newly rich Chinese
the Chinese pay $16,000 to learn how to pronounce the names of luxury brands
training also includes
the proper way to match hats with the yawn of your skull
++++==being alive any day of the week is not something i'd recommend if you can't laugh milk
through your nose
boyfriend laughs milk in a solid stream
boyfriend thinks we should be the ones teaching the Chinese—totes add
"nasal lactose effusion" as a premium service
^like if you would spend $16,000 to learn "nasal lactose effusion"
^comment if everything you know, everything you need to know is skull glazed w/rhinestones
boyfriend is leaving for NYC tomorrow
boyfriend has promised that we can totes fly there as pair of turtledoves
Facebook- 1/20/17
++++==^^^^^somebody in Williamsburg broke up with screenwriting, Dungeons & Dragons, Borges, & Tibetan Buddhism all in one night
our selves are books
raised into piles that lean//////// into January sunlight grey swatches patching over the spark of miracle
Word of the Day: @@catastrophilia@@
—or what it means when despite the mess you made
somehow you still get dessert on the house
our selves are books
raised into piles that lean//////// into January sunlight grey swatches patching over the spark of miracle
Word of the Day: @@catastrophilia@@
—or what it means when despite the mess you made
somehow you still get dessert on the house
Facebook- 8/9/17
friend request from grape gorilla who nudges aside an Excel spreadsheet to say hello
Facebook- 4/15/17
rich novelist asks rich agent
best Venetian sofa to look good lying naked on
where am i in relation to my own branding goals?
walk on the beach to take picture walking on the beach
*could reach 100 likes*
rich novelist not interested in rich agent's opinion
rich novelist is here to remind
monetization means supply-side humble-brag
/means your skull fills with words trimmed in ash
*empire clickbaits the apocalypse*
10 likes in 2 hours means you are loved by 3 people who will pick you up at the airport
300 likes in 5 minutes means envy is trending
rich novelist has self-branded into three new categories since the start of this breath: Travel, Personal Grooming, Best Place for Tibetan butter in Williamsburg @ 2am
where am i in relation to the eternity of my brand?
where should i be increasing spend promote photos of my halo?
*empire asks that we refrain from asking*
Facebook- 5/22/17
Jenny Wong and all her thong photos wants to be my friend
Jenny Wong, Orthodox Christian, American,
cook, singer, ex-con
^FB fam, i will never meet most of you, but every time you like
i feel your mouse
click against my heart
Jenny Wong, Orthodox Christian, American,
cook, singer, ex-con
^FB fam, i will never meet most of you, but every time you like
i feel your mouse
click against my heart
WILLIAM LESSARD has writing that has appeared or is forthcoming in McSweeney's, FANZINE, Prelude, Hyperallergic, PANK, Brooklyn Rail, Heavy Feather Review. His work has also been featured at MoMA PS1. He co-curates the Cool as F*** reading series in Brooklyn and is the Poetry editor of Boog City.