marisa crawford
Image by Emily Present & Peter Cole Friedman
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Ryan Gosling Wearing a T-shirt of Macaulay Culkin Wearing a T-shirt of Ryan Gosling Wearing a T-shirt of Macaulay Culkin It goes in waves like the feminist movement. Dressed like a carnival / feeling like a funeral / wouldn’t want to have it any other way. A man on the street made a sound with his mouth and I know that he made it because of my legs. My skirt’s too short / I knew, I wore it anyway. Gonna get fired / or worse get fired. I wonder if feminism needs to have waves. Fake waterfall in Levi's Plaza. Twenty-four usable hours in every day. When I'm standing in line for the bathroom without my phone it reminds me of the 90s, and then I wanna cry. When we took a picture of the ocean, then a picture of the picture, then a picture of the picture, then posted it online. Aaron said it "messed with his mind." Like when we made a fractal with your dad’s video camera. The background music was Dark Side of the Moon / You called it "dark side.” I got this skirt at a women poets clothing swap. Piles of blown-out dandelions or clothes. Circles of women poets in skirts and sweaters that go on forever. The feeling of not wanting to be touched by you, then needing to. Then getting you back & not wanting you. & a t-shirt that holds all of that. When I was a kid in the candy store I thought the candy went on forever. Bumped into myself in the mirror. At work I twirl my ID in circles like a yo-yo / under cover. What did one self say to the other. Candy coated, crashed on the shore, lost in the mall. Ryan Gosling Wearing a T-shirt of Macaulay Culkin Wearing a T-shirt of Ryan Gosling Wearing a T-shirt of Macaulay Culkin
A big screen TV / hair that's naturally wavy. I was watching Black Swan in the theater / squeeze my hand if you remember. I was watching Party Monster at Elena's in the Sunset. I was drinking a whole bottle of red wine. Those were my dark days, honey. If you look into the mirror it is almost always scary except on days like this. Surfer boyfriend / daisy dukes / face that never ages Prima ballerina / sophisticated ponytail / Mila Kunis’ black tattoo Whenever the clasp of my necklace finds its way down to the pendant I always think about my younger self thinking about Macaulay. I just wanted to be half of a whole. Golden heart cracked down the middle If love is a drug love is a drug love is a drug Mila broke up with Macaulay Ryan Gosling broke up a fight I woke up on the other side of myself Blood red wine / brunette longings Like I was turning into a “black swan.” Like “girlhood” isn't terrifying enough. Like we are two sides of like the same coin. Good, bad, good Falling / flying. |
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MARISA CRAWFORD is the author of the poetry collection The Haunted House (Switchback, 2010), and the chapbook 8th Grade Hippie Chic (Immaculate Disciples, 2013). Her writing is forthcoming in Electric Gurlesque (Saturnalia, 2016) and The &NOW Awards 3 (&NOW, 2015). Marisa is poetry editor for Coconut Magazine and founding editor of the feminist website WEIRD SISTER. She lives in Brooklyn, NY.
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