3 by laura relyea
from All Glitter, Everything
Ke$ha and I Were Raised By Wolves
It is a tepid summer and I cannot confide in Ke$ha that my happiness is tainted with sadness. She has taken me in and I cannot bear any color but grateful. In my most honest moments my vision is vignetted, darkness creeping in on my peripheral vision. Mourning is not a color that Ke$ha wears. We sit on adjacent couches and pretend we are not thinking about the fact we are not talking. I’m not thinking about how I miss my black and white dog. I cannot presume to read Ke$ha's thoughts. They could be anywhere.
Sometimes we erect fortresses around ourselves. We build these fortresses with quiet, hard liquor and gobs of blooming lilies. They fumigate the inside of our home. I pine for a harbor where stillness is abundant and lighter than light. Where the sun obliterates the windows and breaks through the white sheets I hide beneath. Ke$ha, there is no such thing as the sun's heat in my bedroom and because of that absence it will never be home, no matter how hard I would like it to be.
Lessons in Glitter from Ke$ha
Ke$ha and I decide we would like to go to Norway after concluding that Norway is the Pacific Northwest of Europe. I was born at the base of a stratovolcano in the Cascade Volcanic Arc. Ke$ha likes that. We daydream of ascending the top of the volcano in our heaviest boots just to throw down a glitter flag at the summit and howl like wolves. It’s only a matter of time before we buy two tickets for a private car on the Amtrak Cascade Line, twenty-five bucks a pop.
Glitter comes from the Old Norse word glitra. Ke$ha knows all there is to know about glitter, she has a bathtub full of it. We like to think of Norway and our volcano that way, glitter-bombed and shining. Ke$ha hasn’t seen it but swears that nothing in the world glitters more than the Folgefonna glacier, not even the Northern Lights. Ke$ha wants to go to Glittertind, Norway’s second highest peak. We daydream of ascending to its summit in our heaviest boots just to throw down our second glitter flag and howl like wolves. We are wolves and glitter, ascending the earth.
All Ke$ha, Everything
Ke$ha awakes bright-eyed and stretches her arms high above her head. Ke$ha rubs the sleep from her eyes. Ke$ha throws her fists in the air! Ke$ha steps into her bath, full of glitter. Ke$ha exits smelling like flowers and shining. Ke$ha drinks her coffee with cream and three teaspoons of glitter. Ke$ha eats a glitter donut for breakfast then puts on her favorite flower crown and goes to work. Ke$ha is a bike commuter. Ke$ha is followed by a trail of forest creatures, which really freaks out the drivers who trail behind her. Ke$ha doesn’t notice their confused honks because Ke$ha is singing and the forest creatures are too. Ke$ha makes a spreadsheet, prints it, and immediately throws it in the rubbish pile. Ke$ha goes home on her lunchbreak and takes a nap. Ke$ha admires her shining marble collection, which she keeps in a ball jar on the windowsill next to her bed. Ke$ha doesn’t go back to work. Ke$ha goes on a run and maintains a pace of 8:33 minute miles. Ke$ha ends it with a cartwheel.
LAURA RELYEA is the Managing Editor of Scoutmob and is the Editor in Chief of Vouched Books. She’s a big fan of glitter and squirrels. She lives in Atlanta, GA.