Jessica Baer
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MORTARWORLD: THE PICTORIAL PLANET SCREEN

                                                                                                                        blue in the after
                                                                                                                        thunder blued ***
                                                                                                                        thunder quarry perfect
 
We look into each others
windows frm opposite multi verses
Yr forehead is a tessellated screen                                                                                         
I hexagon in                                                                                                                            deathstink
to honey: chambers my nudge body                                                                               ship
shunted grain sheathes
over                                                                                                                             bone fossils hurt to
 
fleetwod mac a cragbird
song elides its threat
-larynx god
is rumors: just that
a blast mosaic of
 
Ice crystals we stole
out of the desertworld
where sand planets wave
stand still
a saguaro face looking
away
 
vanishing lines
 
                                    I was sorry to // total recall yr grass, muscles grass
 
mouldered brains of the woods
lost to themselves: mulchphantom
eddied ditch
a green ray volutes hammerempty
 
wet in tones b/t           [where I remember you]
frm the front parts you splatter
lightning, yr palm fronds
psalmodics tug, a selfsame sand
scrubs off a craggery border
land locked into its knees
 
a film lobes muscle pits
new jersey muscles
they reflect waterages
surfaces endless acts last
recorded in a park I hate
my vocal chords finally cut
me out

When I scream I learn that my scream sounds inside like the prerechorded scream of almostdeath babysitters in Halloween

I HAVE TO OBLITERATE MYSELF

the more alive I grow the more
I hate it I wish
you could see me in this pretty sweater I wear it everyday I picked it out just for you

I HAVE TO OBLITERATE MYSELF

 jesica is treading water in the pool hannah weiner is not watching over them my grandmother is
ignoring me        & allbuoys end

[when you were a bird]

X marks the time
is its selfsame bullets               ONETWOTHREE
                                                                                             ponies were just like that

POW! POW!

You are yr murders

heres an ugly story: my mother hates animals bc my mothers animals
were mauled by their animal teethgnashin

the absurd thing is to keep writing
into the hole ourselves

WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE HURT FROM !10 YRS OLD I
battered you you beat yr flap wings into my mirror murk love letters of prehistoric birds

​we were already dead when we -

[when you were a bird]

you step crushed my rhododendron body bc you were
running frm dogs
pack up animals

I DROVE YOU OUT IN THE SNOWSTORM BC YOU WERE DRUNK

in woods minnesota fell asleep over his legs
 
my memory is a tug rope I undo it
to protect you frm bears, prehistoric sounds
 
when I was sick I saw the crystal rotating in the woods I run
you have a mane // you have no name

I BLEW YOU UP

IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS AN ABORTED FETUS IN THE SOUTH MY DAD WAS SICKKK WHEN HE LOVED MY MOTHER THEY BEAT ME UP I CANT TALK OUT OF SIDEWAYS MOUTH
 
you're a creator / not a destroyer

I frakked up north dakota
I was drunkwet in the brothelswhorld
we snow - banked on our disease
the glitteredge of an ice spikes

HORSES TAIL FEATHERS BRISTLE UP                                                                                                         plumelight
 
you're trying to write a horse scream

myuglygendermakesmyhandsmelt

Act II
finally our protagonist rests in the arbor – lattices human silk sinks by its own
 
& I said pls
 
dont ever goo away!

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JESSICA BAER received their BA in Creative Writing from Georgia State University in 2011. They live and do field rechordings in Chicago. Their work has been featured in Fruita Pulp, Horse Less Review, Deluge Journal, Prelude Mag, The Boiler Journal, Alien Mouth, and Leveler, and is forthcoming in Bone Bouquet. They also have a future chapbook with Magic Helicopter Press called "Holodeck One" (2016). They have a lifetime ban from Whole Foods and love horses. Email them about unsolved paranormal mysteries at baerjessica@gmail.com.