Ashley Opheim
​

Bright and Stupid and See-Through

I am inside Forever21
lost somewhere inside 
of myself thinking
‘triceratops’ every-time 
I see a crop top.

Not what we see
but how we see it
matters.

In exchange for pain, desire
and a skirt that constantly sheds sparkles.

In the change room I want to be something
between a star and a flower.

It seems insane that one minute you’re nothing and then you’re DNA and then 
you become form and then 
one day you are born.

And then one day you are just nobody
rifling through the clothes
that no one else wanted
in the cluttered H&M sale section
in the basement of a mall
in a sick sad world.

Feeling far away from
your self.

Feeling
vapid and hungry.

Clarity in the sense of transparence.
Clarity in the sense of silence.
Clarity in the sense of mesh polyester.

I buy a flower pattern transparent top 
for $9.95
plus tax
regular price
and smile at the sales girl
who doesn’t really smile back
or notice me at all.

She asks me for my email
without giving me an option to say no
but I say ‘No, thanks’ anyways.

And I accidentally tear the seam 
of the shirt when I get home
when trying to tear the washing instructions tag 
off of it.

I feel guilty about purchasing the top.

Clarity in the sense of a pattern.
Clarity in the space between glitter.

We are the drowsy children of the abyss
why are we so bright and stupid
and see-through?

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ASHLEY OPHEIM has lots of feelings. She is the author of I Am Here and the founder and managing editor of Metatron. Her poetry and text-based art has been anthologized in Canada, the United States, Spain, Romania and Peru. She has been published widely both on and offline. She lives in Montréal.